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MobileWorld Peace, Part 3
By Jackie Summers The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything~~Friedrich Nietzsche If this is true, women are the ultimate weapon. We shouldn’t be bombing the fuck out of our enemies, we should be fucking the bomb out of them. Strategy dictates the best way to defeat an adversary is to make them a friend; can you think of a better way to accomplish this? Male hyper-aggressive tendencies come from an excess of testosterone, so if you want us to stop fighting, fuck us. And then make us a sandwich, please. Let’s do a quick summary. In World Peace part 1, we established that great sex reinforces love. In World Peace part 2, men were admonished to make a woman feel safe and beautiful, and provide constant mental stimulation, to make the bedroom boil. Ladies, today it’s your turn. Contrary to what you’ve been told, showing up naked is insufficient. Put down your Cosmo and pick up your notepads, because today we’re going to address how women can contribute to world peace. Speak up When I was still a teenager, I was fortunate enough to have a lover inform me in no uncertain terms, how utterly pathetic I was in bed. This may have been the greatest act of kindness any woman has ever done for me. I swore a silent oath to myself to become a lover ‘ne plus ultra;’from that day forward, even if I was with a woman only once, I wanted to be a smile on her face when she was old and grey that her grandchildren wouldn’t understand. With my ego utterly destroyed, I was free to learn about myself, and about a woman’s body; I became versed in all manner of ancient Tantric technique. However, the most important lesson she taught me was this: it is the responsibility of the individual to inform (and if necessary, instruct) their partner the in best ways to please them. How to broach the subject of unsatisfactory sexual performance is a matter of delicacy and diplomacy. When dealing with egos, I highly recommend the ‘Red Ball Maneuver.’ Visualize whatever issues you need to discuss with your partner, and form them into a small, red rubber ball that fits into the palm of your hand. Now, imagine yourself throwing it as hard as you can at his face. The reaction you’re likely to receive is anger, defensiveness, retaliation, and a fractured ego. Now take that same red ball, smile, say ‘here, catch,’ and gently toss it in your partner’s direction. Words tend to be received in the spirit they are given. Compliments are important but, honesty is more important. Men can’t hear what you don’t say. Cultivate tension It’s a common fallacy to believe that men want docile women, but nothing could be further from the truth. Here is where the myth that men love bitches is born, in that the woman who challenges you also presents you with the opportunity to assert yourself. Conversely, the mystique of the bad boy; there is something innately seductive about the person who manages to ignore your obvious charms. We want to overcome, and be overcome by, that which resists us. Unfortunately, too many people of both genders end up in unhealthy situations, mistakenly buying into the misconception that strife equals excitement. It is possible to create healthy cycles of tension based on heightened and prolonged states of arousal. Ladies, by all means be loving, be kind, be compassionate; you’re the softer side of us. But never underestimate the power of discreet, utter inappropriateness. Combine your high sex drive with low inhibitions, and be his fantasy; become his porn. Forever emblazoned in memory is the girlfriend who once, with the sweetness of an angel, asked me if we could forego a night of lovemaking, and asked instead if I could ‘just fuck her, really hard.’ Let a man be a man Our survival still depends on the ability to channel aggression, but we’ve been pacified, emasculated. We’re asked to be kinder, gentler, softer; in modern society all manner of outright aggression is frowned upon. Add to this long overdue opportunities for gender equality in education and subsequently, occupation. Today’s women are stronger, smarter, and more gainfully employed than any generation in history. Frequently women out-earn their parters, and men are no longer needed as providers. Speaking in behalf of Alpha Males everywhere, we’re okay with this, honestly. A true Alpha in no way feels threatened by a woman who is his equal or better; in fact it’s quite the opposite. Few things are more arousing than being desired by somebody who doesn’t need you. Power remains the greatest aphrodisiac, and nothing is sexier than a woman who is secure enough in her sensuality, to acquiesce. Today’s powerful woman has the opportunity to privately reclaim the femininity she sheds of necessity in public life, behind closed doors. The boudoir thus becomes the final bastion for bestial behavior. Let’s be perfectly clear about this: in no way am I endorsing the subjugation of any woman on any level, anywhere, ever. Any man who forces himself upon a woman without her consent has forfeit his right to live. Therein lies the crux: the person with the power to grant or rescind permission is, ultimately, in control. Ladies, you always have final authority sexually. We require your permission, stated or tacit, to be savages. There’s power in surrender, and the woman who can toss her hair back, cast a knowing look over her shoulder, and whisper ‘take me,’ is in for the kind of ravaging suitable from a modern man reclaiming his forsaken right to masculinity. If we all put that amount of energy into becoming better lovers, would there be any time or reason left for war?
Not long ago, a good female friend confided in me that she was disappointed in her new lover’s sexual performance. When I asked how he responded to her dismay, she confessed she’d said nothing, out of fear of hurting his feelings. I asked her frankly what was more important: protecting his fragile ego, or her sexual satisfaction?
Relationships are a constant cycle of conflict and resolution. As counter-intuitive as this might sound, it’s necessary, as without a level of tension there can be no release. This may be the trickiest aspect a woman can master in her quest to become a masterful lover, as you need to know how to create tension without becoming contentious.
Once long ago, men were warriors. We hunted, we provided; in a world where humans lacked claws, fangs or even fur, through sheer force of will we became the dominant species on the planet. Thousands of years of animal instincts remain, despite an absolute dearth of appropriate opportunities to engage them.
World Peace, Part 2
By Jackie Summers The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer, …is ‘What does a woman want?~~Sigmund Freud For starters, how about being loved for who they are, accepted for who they are not, and mind-bending, body wrenching, soul-searching sex? And shoes. Fabulous shoes. It can’t be that simple, can it? Of course not. The complexities of male-female relationships are, and will remain, one of the great unsolved mysteries of the universe, in no small part because we have great difficulty differentiating between needs, and wants. In World Peace part 1, we established that great sex isn’t just a want; it’s a need. Relationships need great sex like fire needs oxygen. Great sex reinforces love. Let’s face it, if you knew for a fact that at the end of every day you were coming home to some good loving, the majority of life’s minor annoyances, would simply cease to be. Part of the problem with great sex is, in the words of the immortal Rob Base (yes, I’m dating myself), “it takes two to make it outta sight.” Frankly, many men just aren’t living up to their end of the arrangement. Lousy lovers abound; men who are sexually selfish, unwilling or unable to bring their partners to ecstasy. Guys, you’re screwing with our chance at world peace. If that isn’t reason enough to become an amazing lover, go reread the Five for Five rule. Simply stated, it redefines the law of reciprocity as it relates to women: anything you give a woman, she will return to you, five-fold. Given that equation, if you give a woman five orgasms, you can only imagine how she is going to return the favor. With the amount of information available, there’s just no excuse for premature ejaculation, low sex drive or lack of sexual proficiency. If anyone is interested in things like how to have harder, stronger erections, how to increase your stamina, how to postpone orgasm indefinitely, how to differentiate between orgasm and ejaculation, how to become multi-orgasmic, feel free to listen here. For the sake of our argument I’m not going to focus on technique, because paying attentionto your partner (Jack’s oft repeated Dating Rule #7) by far outweighs mastering some acrobatic position you saw in the Kama Sutra. Technique can be learned by anyone; you can’t teach enthusiasm, or passion. With that established, let’s talk about things every man can do to improve his performance in the bedroom. Make her feel safe. Make her feel beautiful. Foreplay, all day. I know this sounds like a lot guys, but all I am saying is: give peace a chance. Ladies, what you can to do contribute to world peace will be covered in part 3.
Those four words sum up all the white noise I’ve heard said about what it takes to be an ‘alpha male.’ Ten thousand years ago, the alpha was the guy who could fend off predators, provide shelter, and sustenance. That guy got to drag cavewomen by the hair back to his grotto, and propagate the species. Today it’s a bit more complex; modern women might not need you to furnish life’s necessities. On a primal, elemental level, she still needs to feel physically and emotionally safe in order to become aroused. If a woman has difficulty trusting her partner, she may not feel comfortable enough to surrender to the utter loss of control that is orgasm. It’s only in the depths of security that a woman can truly be vulnerable, and the dangers of passion can be explored and enjoyed.
In the same way our prehistoric patriarchs were required to be alphas in order to secure a mate, mesolithic matriarchs were selected based on their beauty. There’s nothing superficial about it; on a subconscious level, we see an attractive woman and think of her as a good genetic match, worthy of passing our seed onto and bearing our progeny. The cruel and unfortunate part of this equation is: beauty fades. Women battle not only the unreasonable demands placed on them by society, the media, and Photoshop, but time. As a man, it’s your job to make your woman feelbeautiful. Every woman has something unique about her; a strategically placed mole, the twist of her smile, an inner light. The woman that feels beautiful in your presence is free from her own self-consciousness, and so free to abandon her inhibitions.
The (at least) fifteen minutes you spend before intercourse isn’t really foreplay. Foreplay is the flirty text message she received during her morning meeting. It’s the thirty second mid-afternoon phone call describing in explicit detail what you intend to do to her when she gets home. Foreplay is asking how her day was, and actually listening when she tells you. If you’re married, foreplay might mean doing the dishes so she can put the kids to bed. Foreplay is everything you do all day to keep her panties soaking wet, so the physical expression is merely the culmination of what you made sure was going through her head all day. The most erotic things happen in the mind first; mental stimulation, given time to marinate, will manifest physically.
Play Dumb To Be a Good Lover
By Damon Brown
Few things push my hot button more than the following phrase:
“I’m good in bed.”
What exactly does that mean? You already know what turns me on? GTFOH. You already lost in my book. The statement is as blanket and as inaccurate as a Cosmo headline, like “69 Things That Will Drive Him Wild In Bed”. Maybe your lover doesn’t want ice rubbed on his ass or to lick whipped cream out your ear.
Seriously, the truth is that each and every person you encounter is different. I’ve had lovers, friends and colleagues who go crazy when a man takes them from behind, others who prefer to be in control on top, and many – and I mean, many – permutations in between. All the people you know could be classified into brunette, blonde and redhead, or tall, medium and short, and so on, and it would give only so much insight before you actually hopped in the sack.
A good lover assumes he or she knows nothing about the partner. The lover will listen to the partner’s hints during conversations, watch how the partner reacts to certain things in bed, and let’s the partner guide as appropriate.
It’s OK to use your general knowledge, especially if you already know the plumbing, but assuming you know what someone wants and needs in bed before you sleep with them is unsexy as hell – and a recipe for disaster for both your ego and your partner’s fulfillment.
Credits: Image by susan402
DATING AND SEX
By Lisa Skye Carle
There are many “pros” and “cons” about having sex with people you are dating. I’d like to throw out a few “pros” and “cons” to stir up a conversation.
“Pros” :
- sex is often really HOT with someone new
- it’s good to know if you are sexually compatible before committing to a relationship
- just thinking about the possibility of sex with a new partner is very exciting
- did I mention that it is fun and really hot!!
“Cons” :
- you really “should” have the safer sex conversation - can be awkward!
- sex can bring up difficult feelings and insecurities - “am I hot enough…”
- you can get attached to someone who isn’t really right for you
- the first time (or more!) with a new partner can be awkward and anxiety producing - both men and women can have “performance anxiety”
- If you are sexually active with multiple partners, how do you decide to disclose or not?
Credits: Image by kyz
World Peace, Part 1
By Jackie Summers Some men know that a light touch of the tongue, running from a woman’s toes to her ears, lingering in the softest way possible in various places in between, given often enough and sincerely enough, would add immeasurably to world peace.~~Marianne Williamson If that’s true, imagine what a great fuck would do. I (want to) believe in love, and I definitely believe in great fucking. Unfortunately it seems there isn’t nearly enough of either in the world. I have this vision in my mind where men and women from every creed and color are gathered together on a hilltop, like in that commercial from the early seventies, except, instead of teaching the world to sing and buying them a Coke, they pair up, disappear, and go buck their frains out, in perfect harmony… Before I continue, let me make this clear: I have no desire to contribute to the pool of pick-up artists. If you use sex as a weapon, if you’re trying to rack up numbers as a way of proving your attractiveness to yourself, if you use sex as a substitute for genuine affection, if you’re using sex to boost your ego at the expense of someone else’s feelings, these are not the droids you’re looking for; move along… That said, if you want to have the kind of spine-tingling, goose bump-raising, electrifying, all is right with the world kind of sex, that makes you skip for no reason, not care if your boss yells at you, or if your car payment is late, there may be something here of interest to you. I am an advocate for sex, and all things sensual, and intimate. This includes kissing, cuddling, foreplay, making out, making love, screwing, fucking, after-play, and everything in-between. But not just sex; great sex: the kind that curls your toes, makes you clutch the sheets, scream until you’re hoarse, leaves you cramped, dehydrated, thoughtless, breathless, not knowing where you are, who you are, speaking esperanto, throbbing with ache, and with a sex hangover that lasts for days. Maybe I’m spoiled, but that’s what I’ve come to expect of my sex life, and I deem anything less than that, insufficient. There are myriad challenges, some not insignificant, which account for this kind of sex being the exception, and not the rule. Not being in a relationship, emotional or sexual incompatibility, the stresses of daily life, time constraints from child rearing; the list is endless, and some of these things aren’t easily overcome. However these are obstacles worth surmounting, for one inarguable reason: great sex reinforces love. During orgasm, your brain releases the chemicals oxytocin, vasopressin, and other endorphins; naturally occurring opiates which bond a memory to a sensation. They’re the same chemicals released when a mother nurses; it foments trust and strengthens the emotional bond between lovers. Have no illusions: the best sex in the world will not fix a broken relationship, nor is it reason enough to become romantically involved. Sexual chemistry is a powerful thing, so it’s important to at least try to only form those kinds of bonds with someone you genuinely care for. Great sex is to a relationship as oxygen is to air, in that it is a necessary, but not dominant component. Prolonged exposure to pure oxygen causes brain damage, but deprive the body of oxygen for even a few minutes and you’d expire. Similarly, a relationship comprised of nothing but sex is ultimately toxic, but without it, relationships lose their fire and begin to die. Screw world peace; is there a more compelling reason to become an amazing lover?
It Is Ok To Be A Man
By Magic
Last week I went to Las Vegas with a couple friends to celebrate my birthday. We went to the bar at MGM hotel to meet women. There was this one particular woman who was having her bachelorette party. One of my friends started talking to her and later called me to join the group.
I started teasing the bride to be and in no time she was totally attracted to me. She was chasing me and opening me when I would distance myself. She was holding me, hugging me, I was licking her ears and what not. I could have totally closed her that night if I wanted to. The truth is she was the kind of woman I would want in my life and I still didn’t close her.
I didn’t close her because I have done that in the past and have sour memories. The story I am about to share with you is not the brightest moment of my dating life. In fact it is one I am little embarrassed and ashamed of. Nonetheless I am still sharing it with you so we all can benefit from my experience.
Few years back I was in a similar situation in New York. I met this woman who was a bride to be and I convinced her to call off her wedding which she did. After dating for a while we realized we were not suited for each other. I felt guilty and horrible because I made her call off her wedding and now we won’t be together either.
I know it was not my fault because it was a mutual decision. I also know that she probably was not ready for her marriage else she would not have called it off on my account. I still feel partly responsible.
This is the reason I decided to hold myself back when I met this woman in Vegas. I liked her but didn’t take action because I was not a 100% sure.
Human beings are emotional creatures. In cases of love and romance we mostly act on our emotions and not principals. If we like someone we don’t care about anything or anyone else. We don’t worry about consequences either. We simply act on our emotions.
No matter what the situation, you should always take a chance. Most men are worried about a woman having a boyfriend and here I am sleeping with a woman who is about to get married and licking ears of another in similar situation. I have made out with women in front of their boyfriends. Read reviews on my website. I have had a woman sleep with me leaving her boyfriend, by himself, in a hotel room. This is after he had traveled thousands of miles from Europe to be with her.
I am not telling these stories to brag about my conquests but to motivate you to act on your desires and stop making excuses. You will be surprised with the outcomes. If you truly feel for a woman, make a move instead of cowarding away. You are a man and there is no reason for you to be ashamed of your desire for a woman.
Look man I love women and love spending time with them. Women are not conquests for me. I have never counted how many women I have slept with. Women give me energy. Their love makes me feel rich. Every woman has something different and new to offer. When a woman agrees to sleep with me I feel thankful that she is willing to partner with me. I feel good that she trusts me and is willing to create some personal and intimate moments with me. Some end up in one night stands and some end up in relationships depending on how we both feel.
I sleep with women because I feel possessed. I crave for their company, touch and love. Women notice this about me instantly. This makes them feel loved, complemented and desired. My passion makes women feel wanted. Women recognize that out of my passion I have no choice other than acting on my desire to make them mine. This is what makes them want to be with me.
The question is how does one become this person? How does one convey this personality to women he meets on regular basis without coming across as needy?
This is where your mindset and belief system comes in. I see so many guys relying on pick up lines and routines to seduce women.
Men in today’s society are afraid of being men. They are afraid to approach women and seduce, them let alone getting sexual with them. Most men fear something bad is going to happen if a woman finds out about their intentions. So they keep talking about every God damn thing on this planet, without revealing their intentions. As a consequence their interactions with women rarely transform into sexual relationship.
When a woman asks me if I am trying to get into her pants I answer: “yes but not just yet”. When they say let’s just be friends, I reply: “sure but know that I am gonna try to get into your pants. You are a woman your job is to resist. I am a man and my job is to persist. I have enough social skills to not make it awkward but know that this will happen”.
I wonder what else does a woman desire. I have asked women on numerous occasions if they would rather go home with no guy approaching them or would they rather go home with 20 weird, awkward, shy guys approaching and making them feel desired. What do you think?
Which human being on this planet leaves the house hoping no one tells them that they are sexy and desirable? Why would you not approach a woman and make her feel sexy and desired. You are actually doing a favor to women by telling them they are desired. Talk to any woman in her late thirties and she will tell you how she misses the attention that she used to get 10 years back.
So the first advice I have for you is to become a man. Stop being afraid and ashamed of your desire to sleep with women. You are not doing anything wrong. There is nothing wrong about a man desiring a woman. You are a straight man who gets attracted to women, I don’t know what law of universe you break with this.
Next learn the right attitude and form the correct belief system that will draw women to you. This is the most important factor behind my success with women.
My desire for women makes me not worry about rejection. A woman once asked me if I ever got slapped by another woman because I am so sexually aggressive. I answered: “not yet but I would never approach a woman who is not worth a slap”. Guess what? I ended up sleeping with this woman the same night.
There is lot of poor information circulating on the web and preached by so called “pick up gurus”. Be very careful whose information you put to use. I have had clients who had suffered serious damages as a consequence of taking the advice given by these phony gurus.
Read Social Mastery EBook or sign up for one of our live training session. See how you will get instant and life transforming results from our coaching. 3 out of 4 students that I trained last year ended up sleeping with women within 1 week of training if not during the training itself. I must be doing something right.
No woman can resist a strong, confident man. If you believe that what you are doing is natural and real, women will see it as well. If you have the right attitude you will sleep with almost every woman you meet because a man like you is almost impossible to find. There is not a single day I don’t hear women say “no one has ever said this to me before” or “no other man has made me feel like this before”. I even get compliments from women after almost every talk I give at dating events and seminars.
So stop worrying about what people think of you and start acting as a man. Go out and approach two women tonight. Show your interest in them as a man. Your interaction may not end up with anything sexual because you still don’t have all the tools yet to seduce a woman. But you will feel good and liberated when you reveal your intentions. You will feel like a man and you feel in control. This in itself makes it worth approaching women and getting sexual with them.
In the meanwhile have a good weekend and start flirting with every woman you meet.
Good Luck!
-Magic
(Credits: Image by tibchris)
Shyness Is Sexy
By Damon Brown
When someone hears I write about sex, the first response often begins like “I once knew a guy who had a foursome…” or “I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom…” or whatever. It may be based on the assumption that I’ve seen everything under the sun - which I definitely haven’t, but my friends certainly have! - and this need to impress, shock or horrify a sex writer. I’m also told I have one of those “tell all” faces.
I’ve heard a lot, though, but every once in a while someone will tell me some truly crazy shit. And guess what happens? I blush. People can seem straight flabbergasted when I’m actually embarrassed. Surprise! Sex writers are human, too.
And get this: I’m actually proud of my shyness. Actually, having a little “reserved” streak can be quite fetching. For example, have you ever had sex in a public place? Part of the rush is the fear and embarrassment associated with being caught. You could try to play it off that you’re not even a little apprehensive, but that genuine feeling shared between lovers adds to the excitement, drama and, ideally, pleasure you experience. It is honest, true and real.
It is also sexy for you to push the envelope *despite* your shyness. It is one thing to do a new sex position when you are already comfortable with all the variants. It is entirely another to let your partner or partners know your shyness about the new moves and still be interested in pushing towards another level of ecstasy.
I’m not advocating risky behavior, but I am advocating being yourself in the bedroom. And a little real shyness can be much more sexy than a know-it-all facade.
Credits: Image by andriux-uk
The Agency Review
By Jackie Summers Advertising is a trillion dollar business. The science of separating suckers from their hard-earned income is a cornerstone of capitalism, and the client-agency relationship is a tenuous beast at best. The process by which high profile clientele is acquired and retained is pertinent to today’s dating discussion. Typically there are three phases in the life of the agency/client relationship. It goes something like this: First up is the pitch. This is the part where you convince a perspective client that no one can represent their interests better than you. You do research, present a list detailing the wealth of your resources, the skill of your craftsmen, along with awards and testimonials from other satisfied clients. This can take months, and no effort or expense is spared. If you’re fortunate enough to be awarded the account, you pop a bottle of champagne, because you’re about to be hugely compensated. The bubbly serves as the precursor to settling into the actual day to day work. This is what you asked for, and it can be taxing. The work doesn’t stop with the win, it’s just beginning. Clients can be hard to interpret, they may not know what they want, they may have difficulty articulating their desires, they may ask for one thing and then change their minds at any time for any reason. This part of the relationship requires maintenance, as you’re constantly trying to better understand and please the client. During this stage there is usually lots of bitching, and all of the pretty promises made during the pitch stage are long forgotten. At least, until the account comes up for review. Contracts have a preset expiration date, at which point a client will analyze how well you interpreted and actualized their needs. They examine quantifiable growth, and the nature of your communication. ‘Here’s what you did right, here’s where you fell short, here is what we were hoping to see from you, and here is the direction we’d like to take.’ It is bluntly set before you: now that our original agreement is coming to a close, persuade us why we should continue to reward you with our business. Other agencies are willing to bend over backwards to prove they can represent our interests better than you. Please, present evidence that you are deserving of being awarded this account, again. Relationships should work with such ruthless efficiency. We’ve all seen this game play out in our love lives. During the ‘pitch’ stage, many men (and some women) will say or do anything to convince you they are ‘the one’ for you. They will leap tall buildings, promise to bring democracy to Cuba, nationalized healthcare to America, and an NBA championship to the New York Knicks. No effort or expense is spared, every ounce of charisma is expended, and grandiose dramatic gestures are made. If successful, the compensation package is significant: you get a friend, a confidant, a companion, a lover. Once you’ve ‘won’ the business, the real work begins. Anytime you try to meld two lives into one, you’re facing significant challenges. Men and women bring their heritage, their relationship history, their sexual predilections and their idiosyncrasies into relationships. Communicating needs and desires isn’t always clear, and fulfilling them requires honesty, dedication and commitment. This is usually about the part where all the bitching comes in. But what would happen if you knew your account was coming up for review? What if partners could sit each other down and say ‘you went out of your way to persuade me to be with you. Now, you are failing to live up to expectations. There are others who (pointing to heart and/or crotch) desire this, and are willing to do anything, to get what I give to you. I’m putting your account up for review. Please, convince me why I should continue to reward you with my attention, my affection, my love, my sex.’ Okay maybe that’s a bit draconian. The client/agency dynamic tends to be one-sided, and few people respond well to being scrutinized. In a healthy, functional relationship, the desire to continually please each other is based on love, not fear. Complacency however, kills relationships. Often once people become involved, they either cease doing the things that attracted a partner in the beginning, or they become unresponsive to change. Open, honest communication is required to keep a relationship vibrant, to make sure your needs and those of your partner are being met. An agency who fails to correctly interpret the needs of a client will have their account terminated. A lover who fails to adore you for who you are, who is unable to present evidence they are deserving of your time, your affection, your love, your sex, should be summarily dismissed. One person’s inability to appreciate you does not diminish you, and (pointing to heart and/or crotch) there will always be another willing to go to the ends of the earth to demonstrate they are deserving of being rewarded with the gift of you.
Vanilla Is Still Tasty
By Damon Brown
Stop me if you’ve heard these before: “I can go on for days, baby”; “I’m going to rock your world”; “I know stuff you will *not* believe!” and, well, you get the picture. Pick-up lines are an art in themselves, ideally getting someone we want in the sack through voracious advertisement and, well, maybe a little embellishment. There is another reason why we use exaggerated sex talk, too:
We are afraid of people believing we have an “average” sex life. It is considered a FAIL.
Bragging about sexual prowess and kinky experiences can be part of the mating game, the equivalent to preening the peacock feathers or showing off the lion’s mane. You connect with the right person and, hey, you’re on the way to the bedroom. The challenge is when the rubber meets the road, so to speak:
*He didn’t do any of the shit he was bragging about. Bo-ring!
*She wouldn’t do that in bed. Can you believe that?
*Wow, that wasn’t what I expected.
It all comes down to one thing: False advertising.
Don’t get me wrong – to paraphrase a sex axiom, everybody has their kink. You might like Catholic school uniforms, have a thing for redheads or really get turned on by plaid socks. You might like giving blow jobs more than intercourse, taking your partner to a strip club or masturbating in the bathroom. These might sound “kinky”, but you know the funny part? I’ve found that we more readily will share our darkest fantasy than - gulp - be looked at as conventional.
You like missionary position on a back-supportive bed? Go get that. You only want to have intercourse in a committed relationship? Keep your sexy ass celibate. You prefer partners with average builds? Enjoy your type.
There are billions of vanilla-loving adults out there getting better sex than most of us. Why? They are saying exactly what they want and going after exactly whom they want - and getting it on the regular.
(Credits: Image by permanently scatterbrained)
Boys and girls, it’s time to say No to Ho!
By Scherry Momin
For those of you who aren’t familiar with Simon Doonan, or the reference to the above title, he’s the creative director of Barney’s New York. You should Google him immediately. He came out with a book a few years ago entitled Eccentric Glamour, which has practically been my bible. I’ve decided to dedicate this week’s PickV blog post on some brief lessons from Simon Doonan since they seem to be so relevant in today’s dating world.
Jumping into the dating scene is hard. You need to define yourself. For those of you thinking of a makeover or lifestyle change, you should seriously consider the points in this post before embarking on your endeavor. Why has WHORE become the most commonly chosen makeover option for so many women?
Come on guys, now that you’re dating, whore isn’t going to get you very far. It might get you laid a few times, but they make dildos for that. Also, going back to the point Damon Brown made earlier this week, having sex with everyone isn’t as satisfying as having sex with someone you really want to have sex with. In a recent interview, Lady GaGa announced her celibacy. She stated “I remember the cool girls when I was growing up. Everyone started to have sex. But it’s not really cool any more to have sex all the time. It’s cooler to be strong and independent.”. This is so incredibly true. So don’t go on dates dressed like a porn star.
I swear, if I see any of you girlies walking around looking like a cross between Britney Spears and a blow up doll I will have to slap a ho. Now, I’m not saying being vulgar is a bad thing. I would be Hippocrates’ Queen if I were to discourage vulgarity. But being a ho is tasteless vulgarity which offers no intrigue into your personality. I would say Lady GaGa is vulgar, I would say Madonna is vulgar, but neither of them are ho bags. You don’t have to be either! Being a woman is so much more than having boobs and a vagina. Do yourself a favor, don’t reduce yourself to boobs and a vagina. If you do, then don’t expect men to look at you any differently.
For those of you familiar with San Francisco, you may want to think about the hideous display of blow up doll disease which has become endemic to the Marina district. Every girl I see walking around the Marina has the same hairstyle, the same patent black Tory Burch flats, the same obnoxious Marc by Marc Jacobs bag. I’ve nicknamed a few of them “blow job Barbie”, but they all look the same. Which explains the amount of attention I get when I go out in the Marina district of San Francisco.
During the Union Street festival last year, I had girls taking pictures of my shoes because they wanted to try and find them on eBay. But take my word for this, if you’re wearing something interesting that looks good, guys will use it as a way to approach you, and you will be unforgettable.
Another important tip to help you say no to ho: DO NOT USE RAP VIDEOS AS A GUIDE FOR WHAT YOU SHOULD WEAR. It’s time to banish the badonkadonk, unless of course you want to spend your evening giving head in the frontseat of the hummer. And FYI, Gucci Mane doesn’t know shit about fashion. Just this past weekend I was at a seaside cafe with one of my good girlfriends when we saw something that caused both of our retinas to burn. A girl wearing a tight, short, black see through dress. We could see both ass cheeks, and the thong line. Soulja Boy would have been ecstatic. But how many of you want to date Soulja Boy? Classy!
So now that you’ve decided that you’re going to say no to ho, what do you say yes to? In order to throw yourself into a successful new dating future, you need a concept. What kind of glamorous chic are you? The three which Simon Doonan describes are Gypsies, Existentialists, and Socialites. In a nutshell, Gypsies are boho-chic. They usually love the earth, poetry, and literature. Think Kate Moss. Existentialists are intellectual and edgy. I would probably describe myself as an existentialist as would Lady GaGa. Socialites are old school glamourous. Think Marilyn Monroe. Think of these three categories as guides rather than boxes that you need to neatly fit into. Most people are a blend of all three.
If you’re really considering finding your new personal style to help enhance yourself, it will significantly improve your dating life. Do yourself a favor and pick up the book, Eccentric Glamour by Simon Doonan.
Until next week my fellow PickVers!
(Credits: Image by Kevin Hutchinson)
