Should a Woman Ask a Man Out?

By Jackie Summers

Legend has it that Cleopatra introduced herself to Julius Caesar by having herself rolled up into a carpet that was then unfurled at the Roman emperor’s feet. Her bold antics brought the gala affair to a screeching halt; when she arose scantily clothed before this young ruler he was thoroughly unstrung. The most powerful man on earth was instantly smitten.

While technically this might not count as ‘asking a man out,’ it serves to illustrate a point in dramatic fashion: secure, powerful men appreciate audacious women. Power is the greatest aphrodisiac, and the woman who understands how to combine her tenacity without sacrificing her femininity will wrap men around her dainty little fingers.

The dynamic of power will shift many times over the course of a relationship, as gender roles continually redefine themselves in this modern age. Female aggression will absolutely intimidate an unsure man, so use your power judiciously. If a man tends towards timidity, being approached by a woman might make him feel effeminate, thus disqualifying him for anything useful. I’m wont to believe the more secure a man is in himself, the more he will crave an equal, not a subordinate. True alpha males appreciate a woman with (metaphysical) balls.

Whatever Turns You On

By Damon Brown

What makes your toes curl, your eyes widen into saucers or tighten down in anticipation, and your lips quiver? I love plenty of mental and emotional stimulation, but when it comes to the physical, one of my favorite body areas is the notch right above a woman’s hip. The little curves just ask to be kissed, bitten and adored. The pair can keep my attention for a long, long time. I have a pretty damn long list of fetishes, but that’s the first thing that comes to mind.

Wait – scratch the word “fetish”. I actually dislike the word as that, in itself, often means we’re normalizing one thing and judging another. A person who likes big boobs? He, she or ze is considered normal. A person who likes to be spanked? He, she or ze has a fetish. See what I mean? The only difference between the two desires is what society decided. Everyone loves big boobs! Spanking is weird! Fuck that. You should work hard to kick society out of your bedroom.
 

I definitely respect my brothers and sisters who have taken the word fetish and used it to representcutting edge sexuality, not unlike blacks, gays or other groups flipping derogatory terms put on them and taking ownership of the meaning. However, we have to be aware that the judgment is happening before we can stop judging ourselves. 

When it comes to your bedroom behavior, no matter how different it may seem, you don’t have a bunch of fetishes or strange rituals. You just have preferences. And considering how long it takes some of us to figure out what we like, you should be proud 

Credits: Image by Annie Mole

Time Efficiency

By Samantha Scholfield 
Continuing with the theme of dating multiples from last week, today I’m going to dive into a subject that only the hyper-organized multiples-dater ever even deals with: 
What is the maximum number of date slots available in one weekend?

There are several factors to consider: How adept at schedule-keeping are you? How much free time do you want during the weekend to hang with friends, relax, etc.? And, if you really have 17 available people you want to go on a date with this weekend, how smooth are you at scheduling all of them without tipping them off that they’re bookended by two other potential suitors (a fact that would probably be a buzz-kill)?

Here’s my take on the maximum potential dates from Friday evening to Sunday night, allowing for 30 minute breaks in between each date for travel time and mental recuperation and preparation, a one to two hour date duration and assuming restricted sleep, very little free time and a fast metabolism.  


Friday: - Happy hour drinks (5pm-6:30pm)
- Dinner (7pm-9:30pm)
- Late night drinks (10pm to whenever)
Saturday: - Early morning coffee/light breakfast (8:30am-9:30am)
- Brunch (10am-11:30am)
- Afternoon activity #1 (hiking, beach-going, river rafting, park-enjoying, BBQ at friend’s house, etc.) - (12pm-2pm)
- Afternoon activity #2 (2:30pm-4:30pm)
- Happy hour drinks (5pm-6:30pm)
- Dinner (7pm-9pm)
- Dessert/Cocktails (9:30pm-11pm)
- Late night drinks / party-going (11:30pm-whenever)

Sunday: 
- Brunch (9:30am-11:30am)
- Afternoon activity #1 (12pm-2pm)
- Afternoon activity #2 (2:30pm-4:30pm)
- Happy hour drinks (5pm-6:30pm)
- Dinner (7pm-9pm)
- Late night cocktails (9:30pm to whenever)

That’s 17 potential slots: definitely not a schedule for the faint of heart or the easily exhausted. But for the soul-mate seeking, “dating is a numbers game”-subscribing, time-efficient go-getter?This schedule is an inspiration. Even a much more doable, pared down version (2 dates on Friday, and 3 each on Saturday and Sunday), action-packs the weekend with 8 slots for potential sparks to fly. And when you’re trying to meet your soul-mate by next month, maximizing your dating is the only way to go.  

So the next time you feel like you don’t have time for yet another date, remember that if you watch the clock and clustering your dates according to location and traffic time, it’s possible to have a date with every member of your local adult soccer team, and most of the substitutes. 
Yours in time-efficiency, S(Credits: Image by wjarrettc)

How to Handle Multiples

By Samantha Scholfield

Although dating multiple people at one time has become a much more accepted route with the popularity of online dating (and therefore the necessity of meeting each person you might have a connection with in person to see if there’s anything there), there seem to be a lot of differing opinions and questions about it:

- Do you fully disclose how many dates you have this week with the person you’re on a date with tonight?

- What constitutes “dating”? Definitions range, depending on the person, from meeting for coffee to it being a term only applied to a monogamous “will you be my girlfriend?” pre-marriage coupledom.

- Are multiples an efficient way to figure out who’s best for you or is it an ultimate playboy lifestyle where you can get your cake and eat it too? 

Navigating the emotional minefields of each separate person in your personal black book takes skill, grace and tact — and a giant heap of communication. 

I think that most of us assume that until there’s an actual conversation about where we stand in a dating situation, as long as we’re treating the other person with respect, what we do in our time away from them is our business. As for when to bring up the conversation (similar to my post about the DTR ) having a talk with someone becomes necessary when you can a) sense that they’re thinking that they’re the only one you’re dating or b) when you sense that you’re not the only one they’re dating and you’re interested in going in that direction. Ultimately, we’re all responsible for our own feelings and actions, so while it’s not your responsibility to constantly monitor how the other person may or may not be feeling, it’s still a good idea to have their thoughts in mind so that you don’t inadvertently hurt them — no one likes being a jerk. This is especially true when sex comes into play, because oftentimes there’s going to be more (and sometimes unpredictable) emotion involved. 

All that said, while I think honesty and integrity in dating are extremely important, I do not subscribe to the theory that you should mention on the first date that you’re currently also dating sixteen other people. This looks like bragging, despite the place of honesty it’s coming from.  A much more realistic and non-jackass way to go about discussing your (or their) other activities is to wait until you sense that either one of you is not on the same page: “Hey - I like you and I’d like to keep hanging out to see where this goes, but I want to make sure we’re on the same page so that neither one of us gets hurt.”

Basically, whether your goal is to get as much ass as possible or you’re looking for your soulmate in a time-efficient manner, being sensitive to what the people you’re dating are feeling is key. Assuming that they’re on the same page is fine for a while, but as soon as emotions start getting involved, it’s important to let them know where you stand and what your plans are so that no one gets inadvertently hurt. If they’re down to continue, rock on. If they’re not, they can bail. 

Yours in time-efficiency, S

(Credits: Image by  lu_lu)

The Biggest Myths Of Pick Up Part-2

By Magic

Last week I mentioned few myths of pickup community. I could continue with the list but I guess it is time to move on.   

In this post, I’m going to reveal a few things you should start using right away to skyrocket your success with women.  

I know no one is interested to practice the general stuff or work on areas of life that are not directly related to pick up skills. As a coach my job is to give you the right information and not the information you think will work.  

You have to take my word that your skills and techniques are incomplete without the following information below.    

It’s like having the greatest car and the most powerful engine on the market but with no air in the tires…   

Some of the stuff below might seem daunting, but trust me that it does not take long to master and see results from. After live coaching and you will have a great control of these elements which act as a catalyst to generate massive amounts of attraction. 

T.E.A.S.E  

Tonality, Eye Contact, Animation, Sexual Escalation and Energy are the most powerful components to demonstrate power, confidence, dominance and stability.   

If you can master the right level of T.E.A.S.E you will have no problem opening and controlling groups of women. In fact T.E.A.S.E is so powerful that women will start opening you when you display them at the right level.  

Positivity  

Negativity is public enemy number one! If you are negative in general it will come across in your attitude. A positive person feels happy within and spreads positivity. Positivity is contagious and it makes people feel good: man, woman or child. As a result when women see a secure man in you they relax around you.

Be Social

Most students of pickup are not social. They go out only to pick up women. They would never waste time socializing but focus on the mission to pick up chicks. Do the opposite. Be social.   

Take interest in people and their lives. Explore what they find beautiful about their life, work and hobbies. Practice this for a little while and soon you will become natural conversationalist and a charmer. You won’t need any routines. People will enjoy your company and onlookers will see you as the life of the party. Your value will go up and you will get laid like a rock star, along with some other important skills that will contribute.  

Stop Acting Desperate  

I meet these men who are super desperate about women. All they can do is talk about women. They spend hours on the internet stalking women’s profiles on social media sites. Every few minutes they will show you some woman’s photo and talk about how hot she is. The only conversation they can have is about some hot chick that they wanted to bang or they wish they could bang so and so.   

Now all of us talk about women and our desires but if that piece dominates the majority of your conversation you are too desperate and it will reflect in your conversation with women. Relax and take it easy.Start playing sports, build some hobby, develop some interest and start talking other things. Get a life.   

Focus On Lifestyle  

Most students of pick up treat bars, clubs and shopping malls as a mecca for seduction. Their sole focus is to visit these places to approach women. Think different.   

Instead of focusing all your energy to visit these places to meet women start building a lifestyle that is rich with women. Build a social circle and participate in activities that draw women to you and you will never have to leave your house to meet women.   

Seducing women is way easier in a social circle and any environment outside of bars and clubs. Why focus on the tough road?   

You may not find the kind of women you want in your neighborhood bars or at least lot of them at one time. Your social circle or activity can ensure you meet multiple women that meet your standards at any given time. Use bars and clubs as practice grounds then build a lifestyle to draw women to you. Seduce them with your newly discovered skill set.  

Mindset  

Focus on building the right mindset and approach to dating. Most schools out there position dating women as a hard and rough adventure. Dating and seduction is easier than driving a stick shift if you have the right mindset. Dating is normal and natural.   

Why would anyone be single when they can be with a partner? Why would someone not talk to a woman who they find attractive? Why would anyone not try to sleep with a woman who they find sexy?   

Desiring women and making an effort to have them is normal and natural adult male behavior. No need to shy away from it. Women want you to approach and seduce them but they also want you to do it right.  

Watch a movie called “Hang ‘Em High” with Clint Eastwood.   

In the movie there is a scene when Clint tries to kiss the woman. When she turns her face around instead of feeling rejected he probes as to why the woman did not go for the kiss. He assumes that it was only natural for them to kiss and something must be wrong that she refused to kiss. So he leans back and simply asks “what’s the matter” and we finally find out that she was raped and is now weary of men. Yes attraction and seduction is natural. What is more natural is acting on your attraction for a particular woman and trying to make her yours.  

Yes, build the right mindset and seduction will become easy.  

Talk soon,

Magic

Lead Coach

+1 (352) 432-8464

www.attractionmethods.com

(Credits: Images by martinkorben)

My beef with Kobe

By Blake Townsley

Howdy folks. Welcome to Friday, and a world where the Kardashian sisters are hitting .667 in dating/marrying world champion athletes after Lamar Odom and the rest of the Kobeonettes helped Kobe Bryant win his fifth championship. A world where that average would rise to .750 if there was a World Series of Douchebaggery for Kourtney’s impregnator to compete in.  

Snark aside, this is an interesting trend. I’m thinking about starting a petition for Cubs fans to sign which demands immediate nuptials for Alfonso Soriano and Kim Kardashian. But assuming my ability to influence the E Network isn’t as impressive as I think it is, I’ll probably just keep close tabs on Kim’s social life and make some early season bets in Vegas on the Bulls winning it all. You know, assuming Dwyane Wade walked into the South Beach Kardashian boutique and made eyes at Kim. And assuming Dwyane Wade and LeBron sign in Chicago in a couple weeks. 

What? Wishful thinking? Yeah, I know. I still think the Bulls are going to sign LeBron, despite the fact that the feel-good story is King James reigning in Cleveland forever. Let’s face it, Cleveland’s citywide sports psyche could use some good news. For the last thirty years it’s been the sports equivalent of the bullied nerd in high school whose parents refuse to step in because they think getting beat up frequently is necessary for learning how to succeed in life. But for now, I’m clinging to a hope that LBJ comes to Chicago, because LeBron on the Bulls seems like the only way the Bulls will win a title in the post-Jordan era. And also, someone has to stop Kobe Bryant’s reign of terror and prevent the inevitable, inane arguments from Lakers fans that Kobe was as good a player as MJ just because he won as many championships.  

I’m not kidding, if Kobe wins a sixth ring next year with the Lakers, life as we know it will cease to exist. Mostly because if I have to hear that comparison between Kobe and MJ, debated ad nauseam on ESPN, my head will explode. Let’s just get this straight once and for all, Laker fans. Kobe Bryant is an unbelievable player, a no-doubt Hall of Famer with incredible talent for scoring, great defense and an impressive list of accomplishments. But he’s not MJ. 

Admittedly, I’m no NBA insider. What little I know of Kobe and MJ comes from the same sources y’all have. But watching Kobe over these past few years, he just seems like a selfish brat more concerned with his own legacy than anything else. And there lies the difference. Sure, His Airness was capable of incredible cruelty to his own teammates, but that was done in the privacy of the Berto Center, not on a nationally televised game. Kobe has no problems staring down teammates during games, taking off entire halves, and generally acting like he needs to remind people that he’s the alpha dog.  

Here’s a tip, Kobe. If you need to remind people that you’re the alpha dog, you’re really not. MJ never needed to remind anyone, because everyone just knew.  

I’m not going to belabor this point quite yet, though that day may come in a year or two. For now, I am going to relax, and wish the Lakers and their fans congratulations on last night’s championship. It’s a great feeling to have your team win it all, and I hope everyone enjoys it. But enjoy it responsibly. Don’t make me sic the Kardashian sisters on Utah or San Antonio. I don’t think those towns can handle it quite yet.

(Credits: Image by laffy4k)

Are Women Who F*ck on the First Date Slutty?

By Jackie Summers

Before I respond to the question du jour, let me make this perfectly
clear: I am not pro-feminist. I’m anti-bullshit, which in my mind
means requiring adults of both genders to own responsibility for their
behavior, sexual and otherwise. 

As I’ve already devoted at least a thousand words to the question of
whether women who fuck on the first date are sluts, this time around
I’ve decided to augment my theories with the use of pictures. Using
the most advanced tools available I’ve compiled the following
absolutely scientific data.

Exhibit A: Are Women Who Fuck on the First Date Sluts?

The answer is: sometimes. Let’s do the math: some women have sex on
the first date. Some women are sluts. Technically that means some
women who have sex on the first date are sluts. Choosing to act on
sexual chemistry instead of postponing overpowering desire doesn’t
constitute promiscuity. If you weren’t a slut before you got down and
dirty the first night, you won’t wake up magically transformed into a
woman of ill repute the next morning.

You have to say the things and do the things that really matter to you
today without hesitation, because you don’t know if you’re going to
get another chance. Sometimes, tomorrow never comes. At the same time,
you have to live with the awareness that every stone thrown into a
pond sends ripples across the surface, and every choice you make today
reverberates into your future. If you don’t want to deal with the
repercussions of your actions tomorrow, you should consider the
consequences of your decisions today carefully.

So why does this antiquated notion that women who “put out” are easy, persist?

Exhibit B: Society and The Double Standard

Most men will not pass up the opportunity for sex on the first date. Or the second. Or ever. Some people however, are judgmental assholes. If a man stigmatizes you because you are sexually attracted enough to sleep with him, or is
narcissistic enough to believe a woman doesn’t have the same sexual
needs-slash-desires as he has, this man is a hypocrite.

The invasive nature of the sexual act means that men and women have
different reactions to the aftermath. When to have sex for the first
time is a tricky question. Some (but not all) of the many factors that
go into this equation are: How long have you known this person? Are
you looking for a serious relationship or a fling? Are you both
emotionally mature enough to deal with the consequences of entering a
sexual relationship? Do you feel safe, desired, respected, and will
you continue to, post coitus?

This complex set of variables forms a unique fingerprint for every
couple; hard, fast rules don’t apply. The best sex is based on
connection, and that which is worth having is worth waiting for. If
that determination can be made within hours instead of weeks, both
parties should feel free to indulge, with no guilt or loss of respect.
Know what you’re getting into and who you’re getting into it with,
feel the flow of energy, and go with it.

Exhibit C: Does Having Sex on the First Date Disqualify Me for a
Serious Relationship?

Of the healthy adults who maintain an active sex life, only a fraction
manage to do this inside the boundaries of a happy monogamous
relationship. If you are lucky enough to find yourself in one of these, it probably has very little to do with early intimacy and everything to do with
chemistry, hard work, and commitment.

There’s a growing camp that believes that making a man wait for sex—be
it ninety days or a predetermined number of dates—increases your
chances of landing a mate. I would have done a venn-diagram
representing these people, except it would have been a single circle
with the word ‘delusional’ in the center. Grown ass folks, fuck. If
you’re intent on you enforcing a coochie embargo in the (vain) hopes
you’ll be taken more seriously, you’d best make peace with the reality
that your prospective partner is probably indulging in adult behavior with someone else in the meantime. If you’re not fucking him, somebody else is (see
exhibit A).

Waiting to ensure chemistry and allowing tension to develop naturally
is a wondrous thing. It is also no guarantee the sex will be good. Few
things are more disheartening than spending time and energy in an
individual, only to discover you’re sexually incompatible after you’re
 emotionally invested.

This I know from experience.

Just because we don’t live in an ideal world doesn’t mean we should
abandon our ideals. Sluts, judgmental assholes, hypocrites and
delusional people have existed since the dawn of time, and don’t seem
to be vanishing. Try not to have sex with them, and more importantly,
don’t allow their view of you to color your view of yourself. After
all, what is the real reason women get called sluts in the first place?

Exhibit D:

Online Date Fail: How to Handle It

By Samantha Scholfield

Sometimes — even when the chemistry online is so hot any other outcome but life-long bliss seems impossible — when you meet said online profile in person, it can be a there’s-no-way-this-would-ever-work-out disaster. This isn’t anyone’s fault. The Internet can only give us so many hints about whether or not we’ll be compatible, attracted to and/or have chemistry with someone when we meet them in the physical realm. Beyond the obvious problems that can potentially arise from dishonest or exaggerated profiles, there are things you get in person — how you feel around them, smell, body language, how attractive they are to you in three dimensions — that you can’t get through IMing, emailing and profile stalking. 

So what happens when you encounter an online-arranged date fail? When things don’t stack up in person and you know it, how long do you hang in there before bailing, and what do you say? 

I think most would agree that hanging in there for 20-30 minutes is both long enough to show respect for the person who took time out of their day to come meet with you and also to give any potential bonding a fair shot, but isn’t so long that either you or they will feel like they wasted their whole afternoon on a date that went nowhere. The 20-30 minute goal is a perfect argument for why first online dates should be drinks or coffee based, and not meal based. Unless you’re grabbing hot dogs from a street stand, a meal will almost definitely commit you to more than 30 minutes. Anyone who has gone on a few bad online dates knows the wisdom of not roping yourself into an extended period of time with someone you may actively have anti-chemistry with. 

As far as how to politely and respectfully bail after you’ve burned your tongue on your coffee in an effort to speed the 20 minutes along, I’m from the camp of just being honest — not brutally so, but honest enough that your feelings are clear about any potential future dates with this person. Something like the following works well: “Hey, thanks for the drink” (if they bought) or “Thanks for meeting me for coffee”, followed by, “It was really nice to meet you, but I’m just not feeling a connection, romantically. I wish you the best.” You’re being straight up about not feeling anything for them, which isn’t arguable — you feel how you feel. Being honest during the date and letting them know where you stand is a more stand-up way to deal with non-connection than to not return emails or phone calls in a few days when they ask you for a second installment. 

Sometimes, the anti-romantic chemistry is present on both sides, and being honest will result in a friendship — one you may not have fostered if one or both of you turned to the unanswered emails and phone calls route. If one of you feels it and the other doesn’t, being honest may feel a bit brutal, but will ultimately be respected more than the alternative. I know I’d much rather hear it straight than be ignored. 

Yours in stand-up honesty, S

(Credits: Image by www.charlietphoto.com)

The DTR

By Samantha Scholfield

The DTR (“Define the Relationship”): that necessary but nervous-sweat-inducing conversation that every couple must have (besides perhaps an arranged marriage). How many dates must pass before the talk? What’s the best way to do it? What if they’re not feeling the same way and the DTR causes a premature end to your (or their) live-in-the-now happiness? 

When to DTR: This varies from relationship to relationship, so instead of following some arbitrary timeline, do it when it feels right. The DTR should happen when you start feeling ready to take things to the next level. If you’re feeling excited about them and want to see what happens in an exclusive setting, bring it up. 

The other situation in which to DTR is if you’re getting the impression that they’re way more into you than you are into them (and/or feel like maybe they’re thinking exclusivity when you’re not). Put yourself in their shoes and treat them well, even if you think their assumptions about your relationship are out of line. Being honest about where you stand and getting everyone on the same page is huge, especially when feelings get involved.  

How to DTR: Couching the DTR as a serious talk may be mistaken for the break-up speech, so avoid talking about having the DTR before you actually do. If the person you’re with hears “I want to talk about something with you”, they’ll be on the defensive to protect themselves in case what you have to say isn’t good — no one loves getting dumped. Instead, bring it up the next time you’re both happy and comfortable and in a low-key but positive way: “Hey — I like you. I want to see where this will go. How are you feeling about us?” Then, have a conversation and figure out where you both stand. If you’re in the same place, brilliant. If not, talk about it. 

When you want to go from many to one: If you’re currently dating multiple people and would like to be dating just one, hen you mention you’d like to be exclusive with them that one person will pick up on the fact that they were not (up until the DTR) the sole member of your happy-time club. If they subscribe to the popular belief that until the DTR, everything is fair game, they’ll be fine with this. If they don’t, listen and talk it through. Hopefully they’ll see your side. 

A successful DTR requires both grace and tact, and an understanding of the position of the person you’re DTRing. Honesty, respect and communication are golden. No one likes to feel like they’ve been played, or to be in a position where they’re getting hurt or are hurting someone else. Don’t fall prey to wussiness or a douchebaggery: talk about where you stand when you get to the point of moving forward or out.

Yours in happy DTRing, S

How to Please Women in Bed

By Magic

  Women love good sex. In fact most women will stay in a bad relationship if the sex is good but will walk away if sexually unsatisfied. Most men  do not understand sexual needs of women. This is exactly the reason why we have studies which show that a small percent of men end up having sex with the majority of women. To be one of the few men you must learn how to please a women in bed.

Most people do not understand the importance of sex. Sex is the number one driving force for all romantic relationships. If it weren’t for sex we would prefer to stay alone and single. The topic of sex and how to please women needs thousands of pages. Here are three things that will surely help you stand out and have her craving for more sex with you.

1. Rough Sex: Most women enjoy rough sex. Love making and being sensual has its moments as well but nothing compared to rough bone crushing sex. On an average you should have 2 love making sessions for every 10 rough encounters. Rough sex makes women feel like you were losing control. Women see rough sex as a sign of passion for them. Most men are uncomfortable with this idea. Master the art of pleasing a women in bed and women will worship you.
2. Add variety: Many men practice wham bam bye bye mam.  They are boring and unoriginal. Most men usually like to please women in the bedroom night after night for sex. This gets boring soon. Get more creative. Next time have sex in the living room or kitchen sink. Sex outside of bedroom seems more spontaneous. Women enjoy that feeling. Add foreplay, mix it with quickies and occasional fetishes. You now have a satisfying sex life that most women enjoy.
3. Multiple Orgasms: Most men don’t care whether  woman have achieved orgasm or not. I confess to being guilty of this myself. Make sure your woman always gets an orgasm. Try giving her more than one orgasm, if not more. There are lots of resources online that can teach you how to make this possible. Multiple orgasms are the key to pleasing women in the bedroom.

Spend some time watching videos on sex education. Read some books on women’s body. Do not hesitate to communicate with your sex partner to have better sex. These few measures will drastically improve your sex life.

(Credits: Image by joanna8555)