Whatever Turns You On

By Damon Brown

What makes your toes curl, your eyes widen into saucers or tighten down in anticipation, and your lips quiver? I love plenty of mental and emotional stimulation, but when it comes to the physical, one of my favorite body areas is the notch right above a woman’s hip. The little curves just ask to be kissed, bitten and adored. The pair can keep my attention for a long, long time. I have a pretty damn long list of fetishes, but that’s the first thing that comes to mind.

Wait – scratch the word “fetish”. I actually dislike the word as that, in itself, often means we’re normalizing one thing and judging another. A person who likes big boobs? He, she or ze is considered normal. A person who likes to be spanked? He, she or ze has a fetish. See what I mean? The only difference between the two desires is what society decided. Everyone loves big boobs! Spanking is weird! Fuck that. You should work hard to kick society out of your bedroom.
 

I definitely respect my brothers and sisters who have taken the word fetish and used it to representcutting edge sexuality, not unlike blacks, gays or other groups flipping derogatory terms put on them and taking ownership of the meaning. However, we have to be aware that the judgment is happening before we can stop judging ourselves. 

When it comes to your bedroom behavior, no matter how different it may seem, you don’t have a bunch of fetishes or strange rituals. You just have preferences. And considering how long it takes some of us to figure out what we like, you should be proud 

Credits: Image by Annie Mole

Learn From Your Teenage Self

By Damon Brown

Remember when you were 15? Sex was this strange, mysterious event that could be considered a right of passage, a way to get your rocks off or just a scary idea in general. Even those of us who were already sexually active were still trying to figure things out. 

There is a certain comfort in knowing what you like. I know what turns me on and, perhaps more importantly, what turns me off! The foreplay, the positions and the conversations that make me the happiest sexually can run through my mind like a flipbook. My desires come across in the language I use, the clothes I wear, the way that I touch and the way that I direct the people I am with. All these messages, whether conscious or unconscious, have been built over my years as a sexually active person.
 

The problem, however, is that we can know ourselves too well and still not well enough! We know our type is the reformed bad boy or the sexy librarian, so we don’t give a potential hottie a second look. We prefer missionary or reverse cowgirl, so the plethora of other positions aren’t even explored. There are hundreds of sexual positions and literally billions of potential partners out there. Why limit yourself?
 

Trust me: I have no desire to relive my teenage years which, probably like yours, were filled with nutty, uncomfortable, and crazy sexual experiences. However, remember that it was also a time of unusual, exciting and amazing discoveries. I remember saying “I didn’t know it worked like that?!” a record number of times. It was a wonderful time of exploration.
 

Now we are wiser about ourselves, our bodies and of others, so there is no better time than now to start exploring again. It will even be more fun the second time around.

(Credits: Image by greyloch)