World Peace, Part 3

By Jackie Summers

The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything~~Friedrich Nietzsche

If this is true, women are the ultimate weapon. We shouldn’t be bombing the fuck out of our enemies, we should be fucking the bomb out of them. Strategy dictates the best way to defeat an adversary is to make them a friend; can you think of a better way to accomplish this? Male hyper-aggressive tendencies come from an excess of testosterone, so if you want us to stop fighting, fuck us.

And then make us a sandwich, please.

Let’s do a quick summary. In World Peace part 1, we established that great sex reinforces love. In World Peace part 2, men were admonished to make a woman feel safe and beautiful, and provide constant mental stimulation, to make the bedroom boil. Ladies, today it’s your turn. Contrary to what you’ve been told, showing up naked is insufficient. Put down your Cosmo and pick up your notepads, because today we’re going to address how women can contribute to world peace.

Speak up
Not long ago, a good female friend confided in me that she was disappointed in her new lover’s sexual performance. When I asked how he responded to her dismay, she confessed she’d said nothing, out of fear of hurting his feelings. I asked her frankly what was more important: protecting his fragile ego, or her sexual satisfaction?

When I was still a teenager, I was fortunate enough to have a lover inform me in no uncertain terms, how utterly pathetic I was in bed. This may have been the greatest act of kindness any woman has ever done for me. I swore a silent oath to myself to become a lover ‘ne plus ultra;’from that day forward, even if I was with a woman only once, I wanted to be a smile on her face when she was old and grey that her grandchildren wouldn’t understand. With my ego utterly destroyed, I was free to learn about myself, and about a woman’s body; I became versed in all manner of ancient Tantric technique. However, the most important lesson she taught me was this: it is the responsibility of the individual to inform (and if necessary, instruct) their partner the in best ways to please them.

How to broach the subject of unsatisfactory sexual performance is a matter of delicacy and diplomacy. When dealing with egos, I highly recommend the ‘Red Ball Maneuver.’ Visualize whatever issues you need to discuss with your partner, and form them into a small, red rubber ball that fits into the palm of your hand. Now, imagine yourself throwing it as hard as you can at his face. The reaction you’re likely to receive is anger, defensiveness, retaliation, and a fractured ego. Now take that same red ball, smile, say ‘here, catch,’ and gently toss it in your partner’s direction. Words tend to be received in the spirit they are given. Compliments are important but, honesty is more important. Men can’t hear what you don’t say.

Cultivate tension
Relationships are a constant cycle of conflict and resolution. As counter-intuitive as this might sound, it’s necessary, as without a level of tension there can be no release. This may be the trickiest aspect a woman can master in her quest to become a masterful lover, as you need to know how to create tension without becoming contentious.

It’s a common fallacy to believe that men want docile women, but nothing could be further from the truth. Here is where the myth that men love bitches is born, in that the woman who challenges you also presents you with the opportunity to assert yourself. Conversely, the mystique of the bad boy; there is something innately seductive about the person who manages to ignore your obvious charms. We want to overcome, and be overcome by, that which resists us.

Unfortunately, too many people of both genders end up in unhealthy situations, mistakenly buying into the misconception that strife equals excitement. It is possible to create healthy cycles of tension based on heightened and prolonged states of arousal. Ladies, by all means be loving, be kind, be compassionate; you’re the softer side of us. But never underestimate the power of discreet, utter inappropriateness. Combine your high sex drive with low inhibitions, and be his fantasy; become his porn. Forever emblazoned in memory is the girlfriend who once, with the sweetness of an angel, asked me if we could forego a night of lovemaking, and asked instead if I could ‘just fuck her, really hard.’

Let a man be a man
Once long ago, men were warriors. We hunted, we provided; in a world where humans lacked claws, fangs or even fur, through sheer force of will we became the dominant species on the planet. Thousands of years of animal instincts remain, despite an absolute dearth of appropriate opportunities to engage them.

Our survival still depends on the ability to channel aggression, but we’ve been pacified, emasculated. We’re asked to be kinder, gentler, softer; in modern society all manner of outright aggression is frowned upon. Add to this long overdue opportunities for gender equality in education and subsequently, occupation. Today’s women are stronger, smarter, and more gainfully employed than any generation in history. Frequently women out-earn their parters, and men are no longer needed as providers.

Speaking in behalf of Alpha Males everywhere, we’re okay with this, honestly. A true Alpha in no way feels threatened by a woman who is his equal or better; in fact it’s quite the opposite. Few things are more arousing than being desired by somebody who doesn’t need you. Power remains the greatest aphrodisiac, and nothing is sexier than a woman who is secure enough in her sensuality, to acquiesce. Today’s powerful woman has the opportunity to privately reclaim the femininity she sheds of necessity in public life, behind closed doors. The boudoir thus becomes the final bastion for bestial behavior.

Let’s be perfectly clear about this: in no way am I endorsing the subjugation of any woman on any level, anywhere, ever. Any man who forces himself upon a woman without her consent has forfeit his right to live. Therein lies the crux: the person with the power to grant or rescind permission is, ultimately, in control. Ladies, you always have final authority sexually. We require your permission, stated or tacit, to be savages. There’s power in surrender, and the woman who can toss her hair back, cast a knowing look over her shoulder, and whisper ‘take me,’ is in for the kind of ravaging suitable from a modern man reclaiming his forsaken right to masculinity.

If we all put that amount of energy into becoming better lovers, would there be any time or reason left for war?

World Peace, Part 2

By Jackie Summers

The great question that has never been answered and which I have not yet been able to answer, …is ‘What does a woman want?~~Sigmund Freud

For starters, how about being loved for who they are, accepted for who they are not, and mind-bending, body wrenching, soul-searching sex?

And shoes. Fabulous shoes.

It can’t be that simple, can it?

Of course not. The complexities of male-female relationships are, and will remain, one of the great unsolved mysteries of the universe, in no small part because we have great difficulty differentiating between needs, and wants. In World Peace part 1, we established that great sex isn’t just a want; it’s a need. Relationships need great sex like fire needs oxygen. Great sex reinforces love.

Let’s face it, if you knew for a fact that at the end of every day you were coming home to some good loving, the majority of life’s minor annoyances, would simply cease to be.

Part of the problem with great sex is, in the words of the immortal Rob Base (yes, I’m dating myself), “it takes two to make it outta sight.” Frankly, many men just aren’t living up to their end of the arrangement. Lousy lovers abound; men who are sexually selfish, unwilling or unable to bring their partners to ecstasy.

Guys, you’re screwing with our chance at world peace.

If that isn’t reason enough to become an amazing lover, go reread the Five for Five rule. Simply stated, it redefines the law of reciprocity as it relates to women: anything you give a woman, she will return to you, five-fold. Given that equation, if you give a woman five orgasms, you can only imagine how she is going to return the favor.

With the amount of information available, there’s just no excuse for premature ejaculation, low sex drive or lack of sexual proficiency. If anyone is interested in things like how to have harder, stronger erections, how to increase your stamina, how to postpone orgasm indefinitely, how to differentiate between orgasm and ejaculation, how to become multi-orgasmic, feel free to listen here. For the sake of our argument I’m not going to focus on technique, because paying attentionto your partner (Jack’s oft repeated Dating Rule #7) by far outweighs mastering some acrobatic position you saw in the Kama Sutra.

Technique can be learned by anyone; you can’t teach enthusiasm, or passion.

With that established, let’s talk about things every man can do to improve his performance in the bedroom.

Make her feel safe.
Those four words sum up all the white noise I’ve heard said about what it takes to be an ‘alpha male.’ Ten thousand years ago, the alpha was the guy who could fend off predators, provide shelter, and sustenance. That guy got to drag cavewomen by the hair back to his grotto, and propagate the species. Today it’s a bit more complex; modern women might not need you to furnish life’s necessities. On a primal, elemental level, she still needs to feel physically and emotionally safe in order to become aroused. If a woman has difficulty trusting her partner, she may not feel comfortable enough to surrender to the utter loss of control that is orgasm. It’s only in the depths of security that a woman can truly be vulnerable, and the dangers of passion can be explored and enjoyed.

Make her feel beautiful.
In the same way our prehistoric patriarchs were required to be alphas in order to secure a mate, mesolithic matriarchs were selected based on their beauty. There’s nothing superficial about it; on a subconscious level, we see an attractive woman and think of her as a good genetic match, worthy of passing our seed onto and bearing our progeny. The cruel and unfortunate part of this equation is: beauty fades. Women battle not only the unreasonable demands placed on them by society, the media, and Photoshop, but time. As a man, it’s your job to make your woman feelbeautiful. Every woman has something unique about her; a strategically placed mole, the twist of her smile, an inner light. The woman that feels beautiful in your presence is free from her own self-consciousness, and so free to abandon her inhibitions.

Foreplay, all day.
The (at least) fifteen minutes you spend before intercourse isn’t really foreplay. Foreplay is the flirty text message she received during her morning meeting. It’s the thirty second mid-afternoon phone call describing in explicit detail what you intend to do to her when she gets home. Foreplay is asking how her day was, and actually listening when she tells you. If you’re married, foreplay might mean doing the dishes so she can put the kids to bed. Foreplay is everything you do all day to keep her panties soaking wet, so the physical expression is merely the culmination of what you made sure was going through her head all day. The most erotic things happen in the mind first; mental stimulation, given time to marinate, will manifest physically.

I know this sounds like a lot guys, but all I am saying is: give peace a chance.

Ladies, what you can to do contribute to world peace will be covered in part 3.