Stoked About Getting Dumped

By Samantha Scholfield

We all fall into one of two categories: the dumpers and the dumpees. There is some overlap, but most of us have a preference when it comes to ending a relationship, fling, or changing the status of “friends with benefits” to “just friends”. The dumpers are the people who dump before they can get dumped, or — more nicely put — they are more proactive and end something when an end is needed.

The dumpees (usually my M.O.) beat the dead horse of a relationship until they get dumped so they don’t have to confront the problem, or in other words, they want to be absolutely sure that the relationship should end so they keep it going for as long as it takes to eliminate all possibility of regret.Yes, I generalize. Obviously there are exceptions and often — as is the case with relationships — extenuating circumstances. Only rarely does breaking something off work out so that both parties walk away happy. 

This rare circumstance found a friend of mine recently. 

My friend (we’ll call her Betsy), had gone on about ten dates with this guy she had originally scoped out on an online dating site (one far less superior to PickV, so it’s not even worth mentioning), but didn’t hear back from when she sent him an email. Used to the crap-shoot that can be online dating emailing, she let it go and moved on. That weekend, she was at a friend’s house party and much to her surprise, so was this guy. Her friend introduced them, not knowing that they already had a connection, and as soon as their mutual friend left them to talk, the guy said, “I’m so sorry I didn’t email you back. It’s been a crazy week at work, and I haven’t had any time for anything but eating, sleeping and working. I was going to email you back next week, but this is way better. Hi.” Betsy smiled. The guy smiled. A connection was born. 

After about four months and ten dates (the first of which Betsy swears was in her top five best dates ever), things fizzled, as they do. Both Betsy and the guy had other online-born connections that they would occasionally go out with, and Betsy and the guy kept having schedule conflicts, which didn’t allow them to bond as quickly as some of the other connections they both had. End result: after a few months, Betsy was feeling like it was time to call it, and try a friendship with the guy instead. She liked him as a person, but the romantic spark hadn’t lasted past the first date. 

She was nervous about talking to him, since she didn’t know where he stood or what he was feeling. She is also a fan of being the dumpee, so switching sides and initiating an end was a new situation for her. She finally psyched herself up enough to make the phone call (she decided doing it in person was too intense for their particular situation), and when she got him on the phone, he seemed really happy to hear from her — relieved, almost. Cringing, she started into her pre-prepared talk, but only got as far as “So, I’ve been thinking…” before the connection cut out and she was unable to get him back on the phone. A couple hours later, after trying him twice more to no avail, she received an email from him: “Betsy — I wanted to talk to you about this earlier when you called, but now my phone is dead and after it cut out I couldn’t call you back. I really didn’t want to do this over email (I like you more than that), but I think we should just be friends. I think you’re a great person, but I’m just not feeling a spark. Let me know if you still want to hang. I totally get if you don’t, so no pressure, OK?”

How stoked was Betsy? Very stoked. It’s so… nice when things work out like this and no one gets hurt, right? Here’s to hoping that the next time you find that the spark has fizzled, whichever side you prefer (dumper or dumpee), things work out every time as well as Betsy and her dude. 

Yours in pleasant endings, S

(Credits: Image by Made Underground)

God Is Women

By Jackie Summers


‘God gave men two heads, but only enough blood to run one of them at a time.’
~~Robin Williams

The phrase ‘it’s funny because it’s true’ was never more apt than when applied to the words above. More complex than any supercomputer on earth, the number of synaptic connections in the average human brain outnumbers the total number of stars in the universe.  In addition to monitoring all of your autonomic systems, your brain gives the sublime capacity for higher reasoning. ‘What a piece of work is man’ Shakespeare exclaimed under inspiration. ‘How noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, in form and moving, how express and admirable. In action, how like an angel; in apprehension, how like a God!’

Until he gets horny that is. Then all of the blood drains out of his lovely brain and into his lovely cock. It’s a known fact that the hornier men get, the dumber they get, and no man is immune to the sheer stupefying power of sex. A beautiful woman walks by, and the smartest men on earth become imbeciles. Some of the most idiotic things that have ever been said or done in the history of man, are likely the direct or indirect result of a good hard-on.

It’s a complete misnomer, however, to say that  men ‘think with their dicks.’ We may have two heads but only one of them has a brain in it. The rule of thumb is: wherever the flow of blood goes, so goes the decision. In this way, all manner of logic and reason in men are subjugated to the raw power of lust.
But what if it were reversed?

What if men did have brains in their dicks? What if, every time blood went rushing down to a man’s cock, he got smarter, instead of dumber? What would happen if sexual arousal in men actually enhanced the ability to make sound decisions?
It would be the end of life as we know it.

Every man at some point in his life has had an argument between his brain and his dick. In essence, it consists of the following debate:

Brain, arguing for the cons: She’s not over her last boyfriend. She drank enough tequila to embalm a horse. Her apartment smells like raccoon poop. She hasn’t shaved her legs since the paleozoic era. She might be clinically insane. I’ll bet she’s in violation of her parole right now. I liked her friend better anyway. If I sleep with her, there will be no end of recompense.

Dick, arguing for the pros: But she’s HOT.
This is usually where the discussion ends. HOT is the ultimate equalizer.
This is why the blood drains out of a man’s brain when he’s horny; if he can’t drown out all the white noise (common sense) coming from his cerebrum, he’s never going to get laid. It’s the reason why men lose the ability to form rational thoughts or complete sentences in the presence of a woman they are sexually attracted to.

It is also the reason the instant he achieves orgasm and the blood begins to flow back to his brain, his first thought is often ‘oh my god, what the hell was I thinking?’ Now he’s either scrambling to find his shoes as you wonder if you’ll ever hear from him again, or contemplating the end of his bachelorhood, as you snore loudly on his chest. And if he chooses to do the former; if he realizes nanoseconds after climax that it was all a hormone-driven mistake gone horribly wrong, he’s an arrogant, selfish, asshole-douche.
Who could have devised a system so utterly perverse, so diabolical, so… nefarious?
Only a female. Therefore, God must be a woman.

Now I know some people out there are thinking that if God were female, the world would actually be a much better place. However I’m on record as saying ‘bitches is crazy’ (and I don’t mean that in a disrespectful way). If the world is a fucked up place, it’s because we’re made in her image, and clearly she’s off her fucking rocker.

Some (but not all) of the things a cock might say if it could think, are:

God, I love Brazil.

Dude, did you see her incisors?  Are you sure this is a good idea?

Dude, seriously? Condom.

But she poops from there…

This is a whole human being who’s more than the sum of her luscious lady parts, and I need to acknowledge the plethora of emotions that may be a direct result of this encounter, accepting full responsibility for my actions and any ramifications. Otra vez.

All kidding aside, I honestly wish men could think with their dicks. We’d probably make a lot smarter decisions about who we sleep with, and it would cause a lot less heartache in the world.

Facebook Flirting

By Magic

Even before I start typing I need to apologize because this blog is going to be a long one. 

When I started on the path to succeed in the dating world I had no idea what to expect. Truthfully, I had serious doubts if I would ever succeed with women.  
Years have passed and now I rarely think of that time. But once in a while I’m reminded of where I started from and where I am today. 
I am writing this email with two intentions.  

I am hoping: 

1.You will get motivated from my journey and start taking action. The only way you will succeed

2.You will realize the importance of transforming self and learn the right dating etiquettes as oppose to learning shallow tricks that take you so far.  
I want you to keep reading and you will see how your personality radiates through everything you do. 
When I came to the USA about 10 years back I wanted to date all the beautiful women I saw around me. I had no success until I started learning from a woman who taught me the basics that I later built my game on.  
I remember when she said that who I am will be visible in everything that is part of me. I will never be able to hide who I am. I didn’t question what she meant by it, but I wasn’t very clear about this either.  For the longest time it made no sense to me, but now I know what she meant. 
So few years back I was attracted to a European woman…  
Surprise! I am STILL attracted to European women…  
I wanted to date her but she rejected me. Now most gurus out there would advise you to push it till she becomes yours or simply walk away. 

I have a different theory… 
I believe you should use your skills to seduce her but never quit until it becomes unhealthy. 
I did not walk away from this woman and stayed friends with her. I did not stop living my life hoping she will come back to me someday but I also did not lose touch. 
I have not seen her in past three years as she is back in her country but we continued to exchange emails and Facebook messages from time to time.  
During this time I was working on my skills and it seemed to hit her that I was changing through my Facebook messages. She could see the change in me and felt attraction for me because of my messages on Facebook. 

What magic lines did I send that got her wanting me? 
NOTHING! 
I had plain simple conversations, that I have with everyone. It was not the words, but how I said them and where I was coming from when saying those words. 
These words generated so much attraction that she is now travelling from Europe to see me in this August. 
So here is some conversation I copied and pasted from our correspondence together and I will explain after what happened here: 
I commented on her photo that she was sexy or something on the lines.  
She sent me a message: 

Her: (Excuse her broken English—-She is French)

Thank you manish about what you think for my photo…i know, i m sexy girl ( it’s a joke!, sure).well, i have a question about you, where do you live now? and what is you’re job? because in you’re pictures there are many people and maybe you work for music? take care manish! love, kisses 

Me: 
I am living at my uncle’s winery right now. I was in LA before and will be moving to NYC soon.  I write songs but for business I am a dating coach. This is my business website: www.attractionmethods.com Lots of people because I am sexy too and people like to be with me as well… ;) Take care, Manish  

Her:

I m sure you have a lot of friends because you are a very nice person in a past and i know it s the same now! You write songs…so i love this job, you a dating coach and me a sporting coach, i created my entreprise. Kisses 

Her:

oh!!! i just see you re bussiness website!!!!! it’s a realy good idea to coach men who don t arrived to have a girlfriend!! a lot of people live alone actually, you help, give a confidence at this men and i hope you arrived in you re mission to help all!!!! in a past, i never imagine this job for you!! just because i think in a futur you are a bisness man in maybe informatique or another things!!! it’s nice to see you re site!!!! my little site is in french, i give you it: [her website] yes, it’s funny, india name! kisses 

Me: Very Nice! Good to know that you are growing in your profession. You are so talented when it comes to [her business]. I did not get a touch on you last time but I am sure next time we fence I get a touch on you ;)
So why did u chose [her website]? Are you dating a girl named Usha :)
You are right I was very bad with women so one could have never imagined that some day I will be teaching about dating. I was very lonely myself and had to learn how to date women. once I became good, I started teaching men and women both.
Take care [her name] and stay in touch! Love and kisses to you as well!  
Her: 
I never said you’re bad with women in a past, in my head, i was think you have a different culture of me and it’s so difficult for a woman to( for example) have a relation with a man thinking directly ( maybe) we go married or if the relation finish, he depress…i like this sort of man but it’s dangerous for him! but you know, for have a nice relation for woman, it’s not all the time in a books but it’s in the heart too!!! but you know that!!!! well mister sexy!, i don’t have a date with usha ;) ( i prefer man sure. sorry for my english… love and kisses!!!!  
Me: (I replied to her in French using Google Translate but for now I am writing it in English) 
I would never talk to you if you did not talk the way you do. Your accent and your English is beautiful. It turns me on for I find it very sexy. Do not change anything about you because you are perfect the way you are.

Her:
Hum! You speak a good french with translate google! You know the good letter for speak with a girl, you are a lover in message and sure i love this! But i’m an more best fencer than you! ;). Take care of you and when a day you want come in aix en provence in france, come in my home! Kisses  
Her:
Manish, i work a lot in france and i need vacation!!! well, it’s for that, i come pratically sure the august 7 at august 20 in usa, if you here i would like to see you! well, take care of you!!Hope see you this summer mister sexy ;)kisses kisses Notice what happened in this interaction.  We were friends, she saw me interact with other people on face book. She noticed my photos having good time then we talked. While talking to me she noticed the change in me. I flirted and made her feel sexy. She rewarded me by saying she is coming to me. She even started explaining that she rejected me not because she did not find me attractive but because she was afraid I will get hurt. This is why I insist on learning the right dating etiquettes and focus on building a lifestyle. This is no unique event in my life. I have stories after stories how my lifestyle draws women to me. I talked about this one because I had messages from her that I thought would be good to share with you. I have been saying this for some time and here it is again: Think different, Act different and there will be no stopping you. This interaction should also be a testament of how bad I sucked with women at one time and how I have managed to turn things around for me. Imagine how good I feel that a woman is flying from France because she is attracted to me. You can experience the same success.  

The question is: are you willing to take the action needed?  Most men don’t take action because they are unsure if they can succeed.  They would rather suffer than take a chance because of their possible failure.  Truth is that failure is the first step to success.  Learning from your mistakes is the fastest way to mastery. So stop sitting on the sidelines and start taking action. I have all the resources to get you going. Read my Social Mastery book and do the exercises at the end of every chapter. See how quickly it sets you on the path to dating mastery.
(Credits: Image by Ed Yourdon)

Should a Woman Ask a Man Out?

By Jackie Summers

Legend has it that Cleopatra introduced herself to Julius Caesar by having herself rolled up into a carpet that was then unfurled at the Roman emperor’s feet. Her bold antics brought the gala affair to a screeching halt; when she arose scantily clothed before this young ruler he was thoroughly unstrung. The most powerful man on earth was instantly smitten.

While technically this might not count as ‘asking a man out,’ it serves to illustrate a point in dramatic fashion: secure, powerful men appreciate audacious women. Power is the greatest aphrodisiac, and the woman who understands how to combine her tenacity without sacrificing her femininity will wrap men around her dainty little fingers.

The dynamic of power will shift many times over the course of a relationship, as gender roles continually redefine themselves in this modern age. Female aggression will absolutely intimidate an unsure man, so use your power judiciously. If a man tends towards timidity, being approached by a woman might make him feel effeminate, thus disqualifying him for anything useful. I’m wont to believe the more secure a man is in himself, the more he will crave an equal, not a subordinate. True alpha males appreciate a woman with (metaphysical) balls.

Eff the Fear

By Samantha Scholfield
I spent this last weekend at various parties and one very fun beer festival (as you do when the 4th creates a three-day weekend). Because I’m a dating writer and coach, the subject of dating inevitably comes up in conversation and so, much of my weekend was spent (happily) listening to the dating issues faced by both sexes. I heard lots of the normal “I never meet anyone”, “All the good ones are taken” and “What’s with all the crazy bitches / douchebags I keep running into?” But the number one stated by both sexes? “The people I want to talk to never come and talk to me.” 

Obviously this begs the question as to why we don’t initiate conversation ourselves more often, to which the answer is usually some version of: “That freaks me out”, “I don’t know how” or “I want them to make the first move.” Every guy I talked to this last weekend said that they’d love for a girl to initiate conversation, and every girl I talked to complained that guys don’t initiate conversation often enough.  From that, the solution would appear to be that we should all just talk to each other more. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. There are egos, fragile feelings and fear to contend with when we think about talking to someone we like, and much more often than not, those things prevent us from actually pursuing that hot guy/girl and instead leave us with some nice fodder for the next time we’re bored and want to fantasize.  

However, if we all take a deep breath, let go of our fear, and — the next time we’re in the same vicinity as an available cute someone — talk to them, we might be surprised at our success. Sure, it’s not going to work every time, and yeah, our egos may take the occasional hit, but in the end if it works out with one of the people we talk to, that’s one more person than we knew than before. Letting fear rule — fear of failure, fear of rejection and fearing that we don’t know how — isn’t how I bet the vast majority of us want to live our lives. So eff fear in the name of reducing the number of dating complaints: talk to the next person you think is cute. 

Yours in sunshine and rainbows, S

(Credits: Image by svintus2010)

Whatever Turns You On

By Damon Brown

What makes your toes curl, your eyes widen into saucers or tighten down in anticipation, and your lips quiver? I love plenty of mental and emotional stimulation, but when it comes to the physical, one of my favorite body areas is the notch right above a woman’s hip. The little curves just ask to be kissed, bitten and adored. The pair can keep my attention for a long, long time. I have a pretty damn long list of fetishes, but that’s the first thing that comes to mind.

Wait – scratch the word “fetish”. I actually dislike the word as that, in itself, often means we’re normalizing one thing and judging another. A person who likes big boobs? He, she or ze is considered normal. A person who likes to be spanked? He, she or ze has a fetish. See what I mean? The only difference between the two desires is what society decided. Everyone loves big boobs! Spanking is weird! Fuck that. You should work hard to kick society out of your bedroom.
 

I definitely respect my brothers and sisters who have taken the word fetish and used it to representcutting edge sexuality, not unlike blacks, gays or other groups flipping derogatory terms put on them and taking ownership of the meaning. However, we have to be aware that the judgment is happening before we can stop judging ourselves. 

When it comes to your bedroom behavior, no matter how different it may seem, you don’t have a bunch of fetishes or strange rituals. You just have preferences. And considering how long it takes some of us to figure out what we like, you should be proud 

Credits: Image by Annie Mole

Time Efficiency

By Samantha Scholfield 
Continuing with the theme of dating multiples from last week, today I’m going to dive into a subject that only the hyper-organized multiples-dater ever even deals with: 
What is the maximum number of date slots available in one weekend?

There are several factors to consider: How adept at schedule-keeping are you? How much free time do you want during the weekend to hang with friends, relax, etc.? And, if you really have 17 available people you want to go on a date with this weekend, how smooth are you at scheduling all of them without tipping them off that they’re bookended by two other potential suitors (a fact that would probably be a buzz-kill)?

Here’s my take on the maximum potential dates from Friday evening to Sunday night, allowing for 30 minute breaks in between each date for travel time and mental recuperation and preparation, a one to two hour date duration and assuming restricted sleep, very little free time and a fast metabolism.  


Friday: - Happy hour drinks (5pm-6:30pm)
- Dinner (7pm-9:30pm)
- Late night drinks (10pm to whenever)
Saturday: - Early morning coffee/light breakfast (8:30am-9:30am)
- Brunch (10am-11:30am)
- Afternoon activity #1 (hiking, beach-going, river rafting, park-enjoying, BBQ at friend’s house, etc.) - (12pm-2pm)
- Afternoon activity #2 (2:30pm-4:30pm)
- Happy hour drinks (5pm-6:30pm)
- Dinner (7pm-9pm)
- Dessert/Cocktails (9:30pm-11pm)
- Late night drinks / party-going (11:30pm-whenever)

Sunday: 
- Brunch (9:30am-11:30am)
- Afternoon activity #1 (12pm-2pm)
- Afternoon activity #2 (2:30pm-4:30pm)
- Happy hour drinks (5pm-6:30pm)
- Dinner (7pm-9pm)
- Late night cocktails (9:30pm to whenever)

That’s 17 potential slots: definitely not a schedule for the faint of heart or the easily exhausted. But for the soul-mate seeking, “dating is a numbers game”-subscribing, time-efficient go-getter?This schedule is an inspiration. Even a much more doable, pared down version (2 dates on Friday, and 3 each on Saturday and Sunday), action-packs the weekend with 8 slots for potential sparks to fly. And when you’re trying to meet your soul-mate by next month, maximizing your dating is the only way to go.  

So the next time you feel like you don’t have time for yet another date, remember that if you watch the clock and clustering your dates according to location and traffic time, it’s possible to have a date with every member of your local adult soccer team, and most of the substitutes. 
Yours in time-efficiency, S(Credits: Image by wjarrettc)

2010625 SCRAM!

By Blake Townsley

Due to the World Cup, Blake Townsley has taken the day off from his regular duties, but has promised us that he’ll return for next week’s regularly scheduled blog. In his stead, PickV.com is proud to present his replacement for the week, guest blogger SCRAM Bracelet #26349, better known as the Lohan alcohol monitoring bracelet. 

Hey. So I guess I’m supposed to fill in for Blake or something this week, since he’s off watching soccer and drinking beers outside. Man, do I wish I could be there with him. I know what you’re thinking. “Wait, you’re an alcohol monitoring device, are you even allowed to drink alcohol?” I get so tired of that question at parties. That’s just my job alright, it’s not who I am.  I can get out there and rip it up with the best of ‘em. Whiskey shots? Fine. Irish Car Bombs? Bring it on. Just not while I’m working. If anything, six straight months of having to be the responsible one in my relationship du jour just causes me to go off the deep end once I’m off duty.  Believe me, I’d much rather be watching the World Cup with Blake, rooting for my home country, South Korea, to make it to the finals and doing some good, old-fashioned day drinking. Just do me a favor, ok, if South Korea’s already out of the running don’t tell me. I’m Tivoing all the games and saving them up for when Ms. Lohan and I part ways. 

So I’m hoping to be done watching them a few weeks before the next World Cup starts. 
 

I’ve never had a job like this. It’s driving me crazy. This girl is up partying all hours of the day, bending rules to the breaking point, and generally daring the judge to discipline her in a way her parents never could. Don’t get me wrong, at first I was the envy of all the other SCRAM bracelets. I was more than a little excited about it, going to all these Hollywood parties, meeting famous people and sharing a joke about my job. It was gonna be great. Instead, what do I get? A spoiled brat wasting her talent on cocaine and painkillers, , living off the glory of a few Disney movies and one job with Tina Fey, and working mall openings for cash. Johnny Depp won’t talk to us, hell, even Jeremy London just looks at me pityingly when we see him at Lindsay’s dealer’s place. Makes me wish I was #36872, riding around with Tracy Morgan. At least Tracy is funny as all hell. Lindsay just spends all her time erasing tweets from the night before and asking Ali, “Sister, sister, skinny as a wall, who’s the freckliest of us all?” before taking approximately four disco naps a day.

Don’t even get me started on that “false” alarm from a few weeks back when Lindsay was at a party where “someone” “spilled” a drink on me. Everyone with half a gram of tech savvy knows alcohol bracelets don’t go off just because someone spilled a drink on them. My parents programmed me better than that. But did anyone believe me that Lindsay had a drink, then spilled one on me when I did my job? Nope. Not even a little jail stint to teach her not to disrespect the court. What is this world coming to?

I just wish there was some way my programming allowed me to alert the authorities for willful and delusional arrogance. I mean, I’ve tried to make the argument with my software that this poor girl is drunk on her own image, but there’s just no getting around it. Sigh. I guess I’ll have to tough it out until that scotch-swilling guy from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour plows through a school bus of tourists in front of Tom Cruise’s next movie premiere. 
 

Uh oh, wish me luck, Lindsay just woke up again, and apparently it’s time for the dinner of champions, by which I’ll assume she’s going to mix the coke in with Bisquick. If anyone sees #36782, you tell that SOB how lucky he is. Time for me to go underneath the godawful goat boots again. Go South Korea!!!
 

(Credits: Image by azrainman)

Learn From Your Teenage Self

By Damon Brown

Remember when you were 15? Sex was this strange, mysterious event that could be considered a right of passage, a way to get your rocks off or just a scary idea in general. Even those of us who were already sexually active were still trying to figure things out. 

There is a certain comfort in knowing what you like. I know what turns me on and, perhaps more importantly, what turns me off! The foreplay, the positions and the conversations that make me the happiest sexually can run through my mind like a flipbook. My desires come across in the language I use, the clothes I wear, the way that I touch and the way that I direct the people I am with. All these messages, whether conscious or unconscious, have been built over my years as a sexually active person.
 

The problem, however, is that we can know ourselves too well and still not well enough! We know our type is the reformed bad boy or the sexy librarian, so we don’t give a potential hottie a second look. We prefer missionary or reverse cowgirl, so the plethora of other positions aren’t even explored. There are hundreds of sexual positions and literally billions of potential partners out there. Why limit yourself?
 

Trust me: I have no desire to relive my teenage years which, probably like yours, were filled with nutty, uncomfortable, and crazy sexual experiences. However, remember that it was also a time of unusual, exciting and amazing discoveries. I remember saying “I didn’t know it worked like that?!” a record number of times. It was a wonderful time of exploration.
 

Now we are wiser about ourselves, our bodies and of others, so there is no better time than now to start exploring again. It will even be more fun the second time around.

(Credits: Image by greyloch)

5 Steps to Dating Like a SuperWoman

By Jackie Summers

You’re intelligent. You’re ambitious. You combine charisma and character, and command respect, all in your four inch stilettos. You can deflect BS off your magic bracelets, leap tall douche-bags in a single bound, and never lose your femininity. You’re a SuperWoman, you’re spectacular, and you’re single.

Okay, maybe that part about the magic bracelets only really exists in the comics. But just because you don’t have super powers doesn’t mean you can’t date like a hero. Here are five steps to help you date like a SuperWoman; mere mortals, please shield your eyes. 

Never Go Shopping When You’re Hungry
If you shop for food when you’re stomach is rumbling, everything in the supermarket looks good. Everything is appetizing when you’re dying of starvation.  If you’re hungry enough, you will eat  junk; things that are entirely devoid of nutritional content. Dating is similar, in that when you’re unhappy with who you are, you’re more likely to date junk, and conduct entire relationships that are devoid of emotional content. We all make better decisions about who to love when we aren’t starved for affection. Liking yourself is the start to being liked by someone, and being happy with who you are is the only way to become part of a happy couple. So before you go love someone else, fill up on love for yourself!

Pick Strawberries
It’s important to live and love with as little fear as possible. Life is short, and often painful.  You can’t predict the future and you can’t change the past. Try not to allow past pain or future uncertainty to keep you from enjoying the present.  Ideal circumstances rarely happen to people, but ideal people can happen to circumstances. Say and do the things that really matter to you today without hesitation, because you never know if you’re going to get another chance.  Your life is now. When strawberries present themselves, pick them.

Recognize Your Teachers
The Universe has a twisted sense of humor. Whatever blessing you ask of it, it will present you with the appropriate tools needed to develop in you the qualities you require to attain that which you seek.  Ask for love and The Universe will laugh, and whisper ‘Are you ready?’, knowing full well that you are not. It will scrape away your preconceptions, strip you down to your bare essence, and then it will point, and laugh.  The Universe wants you to become an individual worthy of it’s greatest gifts, so it will send you teachers. When relationships don’t work out, try to learn the lessons well enough not to repeat your mistakes, and then forget it all just enough to be open to making new mistakes. Remember, the Universe is preparing you to be part of something delicious.

Don’t Settle For Less than You Deserve
You accept only the highest standards for your job, your friends, your home. Why enforce a lower standard for your love life? Not everyone can afford a BMW, and not every man can be with you.  Be reasonable, be realistic, but never underestimate your intrinsic worth. The second you settle for less than you deserve, you deserve what you settled for.

Great Sex Reinforces Love
Great sex is to a relationship as oxygen is to air, in that it is a necessary, but not dominant component. Prolonged exposure to pure oxygen causes brain damage, but deprive the body of oxygen for even a few minutes and you’d die. Similarly, a relationship comprised of nothing but sex is ultimately toxic, but without it, relationships lose their fire and begin to die. Sexual chemistry is a powerful thing, so try to only form those kinds of bonds with someone you genuinely care for. The best sex in the world will isn’t reason enough to become romantically involved with someone who’s not right for you. Remember, it’s not what’s between your legs, it’s what’s between your ears.