What’s My Favorite Word?

By Damon Brown

Is there another activity that has more euphemisms than sex? Masturbation alone has more politically correct terms than a presidential campaign. Add in intercourse, oral sex and other activities, and I’m surprised we don’t carry around a dictionary to figure out what our new partners want.  

There are countless folks that argue this is a problem with our society: The more blunt we are about sex, the more open our dialog. Believe it or not, I think this is bullshit. Language is very powerful, but forcing ourselves to use uncomfortable terms can be more damaging than not discussing things at all. 

Here’s an example: Author Joan Price recently told me that she’s had to educate the media in how it talks about her specialty: Sex over the age of 60. Journalists would review her book Better Than I Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty , usually in a positive way, but the reviewers used language much harsher than the terms in the actual book. The older audiences tend to be more conservative, so you might say “pleasure yourself” instead of “masturbate” or “get off”. Any mature adults reading the reviews, however, may think that it is the language Joan herself uses – and end up missing an opportunity to learn more about their sexuality.  

I used to laugh inside when people would say they spent some “quality time” with their partner or they had to “take care of themselves” because their partners couldn’t quite finish the job. “Why not just say ‘You guys fucked’ or ‘You masturbated’? That’s silly,” I’d think. Now I’ve grown up a little and realized that people’s word choice when describing their sexual activity isn’t about me, but about them. They are expressing themselves as they see fit. 

So the next time you want to take someone in, hide the pickle or churn the butter, be proud that you found a language for sexual expression that works for you. The goal is to communicate clearly to yourself and your partners, and it’s a million times better than not communicating your needs at all. 

On that note, what’s your favorite sexual expression? My favorite – this week – is riding the elevator. You can guess what that means.

(Credits: Images by chadawg24)