Play Dumb To Be a Good Lover

By Damon Brown

 

Few things push my hot button more than the following phrase:

“I’m good in bed.” 

What exactly does that mean? You already know what turns me on? GTFOH. You already lost in my book. The statement is as blanket and as inaccurate as a Cosmo headline, like “69 Things That Will Drive Him Wild In Bed”. Maybe your lover doesn’t want ice rubbed on his ass or to lick whipped cream out your ear.

Seriously, the truth is that each and every person you encounter is different. I’ve had lovers, friends and colleagues who go crazy when a man takes them from behind, others who prefer to be in control on top, and many – and I mean, many – permutations in between. All the people you know could be classified into brunette, blonde and redhead, or tall, medium and short, and so on, and it would give only so much insight before you actually hopped in the sack.

A good lover assumes he or she knows nothing about the partner. The lover will listen to the partner’s hints during conversations, watch how the partner reacts to certain things in bed, and let’s the partner guide as appropriate. 

It’s OK to use your general knowledge, especially if you already know the plumbing, but assuming you know what someone wants and needs in bed before you sleep with them is unsexy as hell – and a recipe for disaster for both your ego and your partner’s fulfillment.

Credits: Image by susan402