Vanilla Is Still Tasty

By Damon Brown

Stop me if you’ve heard these before: “I can go on for days, baby”; “I’m going to rock your world”; “I know stuff you will *not* believe!” and, well, you get the picture. Pick-up lines are an art in themselves, ideally getting someone we want in the sack through voracious advertisement and, well, maybe a little embellishment. There is another reason why we use exaggerated sex talk, too: 

We are afraid of people believing we have an “average” sex life. It is considered a FAIL. 

Bragging about sexual prowess and kinky experiences can be part of the mating game, the equivalent to preening the peacock feathers or showing off the lion’s mane. You connect with the right person and, hey, you’re on the way to the bedroom. The challenge is when the rubber meets the road, so to speak:

*He didn’t do any of the shit he was bragging about. Bo-ring!

*She wouldn’t do that in bed. Can you believe that?

*Wow, that wasn’t what I expected.

It all comes down to one thing: False advertising. 

Don’t get me wrong – to paraphrase a sex axiom, everybody has their kink. You might like Catholic school uniforms, have a thing for redheads or really get turned on by plaid socks. You might like giving blow jobs more than intercourse, taking your partner to a strip club or masturbating in the bathroom. These might sound “kinky”, but you know the funny part? I’ve found that we more readily will share our darkest fantasy than - gulp - be looked at as conventional.

You like missionary position on a back-supportive bed? Go get that. You only want to have intercourse in a committed relationship? Keep your sexy ass celibate. You prefer partners with average builds? Enjoy your type.

There are billions of vanilla-loving adults out there getting better sex than most of us. Why? They are saying exactly what they want and going after exactly whom they want - and getting it on the regular.

(Credits: Image by permanently scatterbrained)

Notes